You Had the Power All Along ~ or "10 Easy Steps on Your Path to Enlightenment"

This article is for those who are stuck in their lives, know they want a change, and have no clue where to start. You just know that whatever it is you're doing...it's not working. You may feel:

• Lost
• Empty
• Anxious
• Fearful
• At your wit's end
• Unfulfilled
• Disjointed
• Ready to Change
• Hopeful

This is truly for those who have had enough and are looking for lasting changes in their lives. You know you cannot keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. But there's one big impediment to total happiness: You have no freaking idea where to start.

The idea of starting a "spiritual journey" can be daunting. But before we talk about those "easy" steps, let's break down the idea of "enlightenment," and what we're really searching for.

Enlightenment is defined as "the action of enlightening." The definition is even vague. It's no wonder we have no clue what it really means or how to get there. But the key word in that definition is "action." The path to "enlightenment" is made up of all the little choices we make each and every day to become and stay awake, conscious, and connected to love.

Synonyms to enlightenment are a little more helpful: insight, understanding, awareness, wisdom. Those sound a little easier to tackle, right?

Here's the kicker. Keep in mind that the answers you are seeking are all already within you. That's the scary part. Most people who start their spiritual journey run out, arms flailing, yelling, "Tell me how to become enlightened!" They may spend years searching for the right religion, the right guru, the right meditation teacher, the right answers someone else can give them to better understand their own truths.

But the only way to enlightenment is through yourself. What you are really seeking is a connection with something meaningful, something bigger than yourself. We call this God, the Universe, Source, the Creator, Truth, the Divine, or Love. And it already resides within us.

The closer you get to these universal truths, the more other parts of our lives that no longer work begin to feel uncomfortable. We realize that what we are doing is no longer a good fit. It doesn't feel right, and may not make us happy any longer. It's because you are waking up. Outgrowing what no longer serves you. This is good news. It means you are READY.

So...let's talk about how to get there, shall we?

STEP ONE
Get a journal. Because we all know that no good spiritual journey can begin without a journal, right? The reason I recommend a journal is because you will be internalizing, processing, examining, and learning a lot throughout your journey. It's good to jot these insights and learnings down, work through your feelings, and even make notes about things you wish you knew more about. It doesn't have to be fancy to work. It can be a simple composition notebook that costs less than a dollar.

STEP TWO
Start by a making three lists. These will just help jumpstart the process of examining, or looking inward at some hard truths. 

1. Everything you love about yourself. If you can't write "love" yet, then start with everything you like or acknowledge is a good quality. It can be something small like "I have nice toes" to something bigger like "I have a lot of empathy for others."
2. What is currently not working in your life, what you are afraid of, and what you want to change. {Do not make this list in your journal; make this on a separate piece of paper. You'll see why in the next step.}
3. A list of all the things that make you happy. These can be as simple as things like: coloring with my niece, eating apples, seeing the stars, singing in the shower, or talking to friends. Don't over analyze the list, just think about all the things that make your soul smile, no matter how "silly" you may think they are (I like to color-coordinate closets; don't judge!).  

STEP THREE 

Make what I call a "God Box." Again, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. It can be an old shoe box or something more meaningful to you. I use a small ceramic box I found at Home Goods that spoke to me. It cost less than $10. The point isn't the container itself, it's what the container symbolizes. What you put inside your God Box is that which no longer serves you. The things you want to let go of. The things that make you afraid. There is an old expression that says, "Let Go, Let God." It basically means let go of the fear, the need to control, the worry. And TRUST that the universe has your back. Let God in. This is the connection to the Universe, to the truth you are seeking.

So first you need to acknowledge, and then willingly / ceremoniously let go of that which is standing in your way. Many of these may be self-imposed barriers. That's okay. You don't have to worry about what comes next. There is something freeing about making an intention to let go of what no longer serves you. The thought of letting these things go can actually dredge up fear - after all, we've been living with some of these things that no longer serve us for years.

We've gotten comfortable in our discomfort. 

But when we can let go of the fear, we open up the space to let in that which we want and need even more: truth, peace, happiness, love.   

So write down those fears and the things you are ready to shed, say good-bye to them, and place them in your God Box. Do not go back and revisit them. Know that the Universe has taken them on for you, is carrying the weight of them now so that you no longer need to.

STEP FOUR

Ask for help. You need to just let God, or your guardian angels, or the Universe know that you are ready to release your fears and start seeking your truth. It's as easy and as hard as that. Ask for the wisdom to come into your heart at the time when you are ready to receive it. Ask that the answers be revealed to you, that your growth starts to happen in a way that is always for your highest good. Do not try to control the timeline of when the Universe answers your prayers or responds to your call for help. Trust is hard for some of us, I get it. But you must trust in divine timing and know that when you are ready, your answers will start aligning themselves and your heart will truly be ready to receive them.  

STEP FIVE

Be patient. Between asking and feeling like you are actually learning is a lot of waiting, a lot of sitting in the now, being present in the life you have. This waiting is actually the path you need to be on. There is no "here and there." You will not all of a sudden come to a point in your life and say: "Holy shit, I'm enlightened now!" Some people spend their entire lives on their spiritual journeys, others understand their truths like a bucket of cold water being dumped over their heads: suddenly, with shocking clarity. No matter how long, or jumbled, or instant, or hard, or easy our paths are, there is one certainty: they are all unique based on our soul's journey. And no one is better than us just because they "seem" more enlightened, or to be living their truths faster or more wholly than we are. Here is the God's honest truth:

We are ALL worthy. We are all equal. 

We are all on different paths at different times.

And that is all OKAY.  

STEP SIX

Which leads to this: Give yourself plenty of grace during your journey. Starting on your path to "enlightenment" does not mean you will now be perfect. It does not mean you will be a happy, perfect, kind, of the light, blowing rainbows out of your a** every day kind of person. The truth is, we are spiritual beings living a human existence. I'm sure you've heard this before; that's because it's true. We are here on earth because we are HUMAN, and we have human experiences to learn and grow from, and we are all seeking our way back to the TRUTHS we know exist. This is the connection back to source, to our spiritual selves. To the happiness we are seeking. But we are still human. So give yourself plenty of grace. The universe does not expect perfection. Perfection is a human trait that we try to master to CONTRL our fears. (Ever thought one of these before: If I am perfect, I will be lovable. If I'm perfect, I can't be fired. If I'm perfect, I will love myself. If I'm perfect, I can't be hurt. If I'm perfect, I won't lose control.)

We need to acknowledge and move through our fears to let them go, not try to control them and continue to put on our masks of "perfection." As Glennon Doyle Melton would say, this is sending out your "representative" into the world, not your true, authentic self.

STEP SEVEN

Find some quiet time every day to just be still. It can be five minutes to start. You can call it meditation or you can call it silence or you can call it connection to the divine. Whatever you call it, just make time for it.

Some people like to use a mantra and repeat it over and over again in their head to try to quiet their monkey minds and have something to focus on. Start with the Sanskrit term: "So ham." This means "I am Him/That," which identifies oneself with the universe or ultimate reality (meaning: I am one with God). It unites yourself with the divine universe during your five minutes of quiet time.

Others find comfort and peace listening to spa music or guided meditations. You can sit on a pillow or in a chair, or you can lie on the floor. With meditation, there is no right or wrong as long as you are getting the stillness and connection that you need.

The purpose is the connection.

It is the intention you are setting with the universe and with yourself that says: I am making myself and my journey with you a priority.

I know that if I can have five minutes of connectedness with you today, I will feel happier.

It may take months for this to happen, but eventually, you will begin to notice the benefits. There are tons of books, downloads, free podcasts, and gurus who can all speak more to the experience of meditation. You can certainly check all of these out when you are ready. And Deepak and Oprah offer free 21-day meditation experiences several times a year that are truly life-changing. These are guided meditations and are completely free. Check out Deepak's web site or join this closed Facebook group for updates on when the next one starts.

BUT...and this is a big BUT...do NOT let the "HOW" interfere with the "DO." So many people say, "I always wanted to meditate, but I never learned how, so I can't." They become so intimidated with the PROCESS that they never start. Here's all you need to truly meditate:

YOU. That's it.

You can meditate on a toilet at the airport. You can meditate in a room full of people. You can meditate on a mountain top in Peru. You can meditate on your living room floor with your kids. It's as easy as that to begin. Once you are comfortable doing it, then you can seek out other ways to meditate, try different styles, or try expanding your quiet time to ten minutes, then twenty minutes a day. The key is to honor the quiet connection and stillness, and to put your intention toward this commitment. Because...

STEP EIGHT

Energy flows where attention goes. This is the hardest truth to understand but also the most simple.

Everything is energy, and we either attract high vibrational energy (when things seem easy, we are happy, we feel good, things just seem to go our way), or low vibrational energy (we are stuck, things seem harder than necessary, we can't get out of a funk, our negativity feeds and grows off itself).

We get to choose by aligning our words, our thoughts, our actions, and our choices. It is one of the hardest shifts to make, and you may have to do it moment-by-moment every day for the rest of your life. But the key is: Once you know better, you do better. Our thoughts can literally create our reality, and our words to ourselves are so powerful. Use your journal to write out beliefs that you have about the universe or how your life usually goes. If you notice self-limiting words, patterns, or actions, reframe them. Instead of: I can never hold a steady job. Reframe your self-talk to: I am excited about the next opportunity that is coming my way. It is going to be even better for my highest good. Or even: Each new job is an exciting step in the right direction to my dream job. 

It may sound hokey, but it works. So many times each day we are confronted with limiting words, beliefs, advertising messages, and patterns. All geared toward fixing ourselves and sending messages to our brains that we are just simply not good enough as we are RIGHT THIS MOMENT.

That's bull shit. We need to reprogram how we talk to ourselves, be wary of what messaging we let in, and remember that we are exactly as the universe made us for a reason. If we are constantly focused on the negative, guess what we'll get more of? To bring in the positive energy, start paying attention to how you speak to yourselves and others. What you say when you're joking around. What hidden beliefs you may be harboring. Then work on shifting them. Pay attention and put your energy into what you WANT to bring into your life. (Read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay if you want more help with positive affirmations.)

STEP NINE

Manifesting. I could write a whole article on this subject alone, as manifesting is one of my favorite topics. There is a famous book you might have heard of which is a great place to start for beginners who have never thought about manifesting before. It's called The Secret.

But here's all you need to know and truly believe in your heart: The Universe is trying to help you.

You've already asked for help back in Step 4, right? So now you have to really believe that the universe is aligning things to make your happiness a reality. Does that mean you sit back, say "manifest for me!," and poof! All your dreams come true? Not at all. Any dream worth achieving takes sweat equity. One of my favorite quotes is: "I never said it would be easy, I said it would be worth it." Enlightenment is not for the faint of heart. But we can manifest our dreams and our happiness if we are committed to doing the hard work THROUGH. Your journal is a great place to write down your thoughts and dreams and what you want to manifest in your life (speak to others more kindly, get a new house, find a husband, love my body).

STEP TEN
Even at forty-two, I am still learning each and every day. What I know now, more than ever, is that our only barriers to love, to enlightenment, to happiness, to whatever you want to call it, is ourselves. It is our fear and the barriers that we have self constructed.

Because WHAT IF we were truly happy? WHAT IF we lived from a place of love? That's kind of scary, right?

To be so open and vulnerable in our happiness.

But that authenticity, that honesty with ourselves and our place here on earth, allowing our happiness in and knowing we are worth it - that is what we strive for. And to get there, we need to go through the darkness that is inside of us: our old beliefs; our past experiences; our true feelings, no matter how dark or scary; our fears.

I have learned that our fears are always bigger in our minds than they are once faced. And once we face them, they no longer hold power over us. But we have to BE READY to face them. So go back to Step 6 and give yourself grace. 

The last thing I'll say about deconstructing our self-limiting barriers is to TRUST your intuition. When things are aligned, we are in the flow, our energy is good, and we are living authentically - we feel it. Our bodies tell us at a gut level that things are good. And when we aren't, when we have unresolved emotions and when we are acting against our highest good, our bodies tell us that too. In the way we manifest sickness and dis-ease. We can literally make ourselves sick when, at a cellular level, we are going against our highest truths and not living in connection with Source and with love. 

SO NOW WHAT?
These ten steps aren't in any particular order. They aren't a check list to complete and voila! You're magically at enlightenment. Just try a step when you are ready. Start with something that resonates with you. And go back to these synonyms from when we first started: insight, understanding, awareness, wisdom. 

If you're seeking and finding these things, you are already on your path. There is no end state for enlightenment. You're not going to cross a finish line and no one's going to hand you a medal and say, "Congratulations, you are finally enlightened!" 

But when you find the things that make you happy, when you do the introspective work and try to gain awareness, when you connect to a higher wisdom than yourself and seek insight, and when you break down those fear-based barriers and truly accept that the universe is there for you and that THIS IS THE LOVE YOU ARE SEEKING, I think you will begin to feel that feeling of peace and contentment you've been looking for. 

And you'll realize that the answer was within you all along.